I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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