Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
