The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Everyone says I win the strip club
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
