i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There's always time for handjobs
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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