I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I look better un-naked...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
