I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
