Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
