did you get engaged???
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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