can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
