"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
two words...techno handjob
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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