She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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