Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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