nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
