I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
