Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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