I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
