How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
