david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
