I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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