i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
