went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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