I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
