? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
