College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
