walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
