The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
