Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
