she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
As shirtless as possible
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
