I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
