I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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