Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
