guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
