Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
