hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The air was thick with penises
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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