How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
