ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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