I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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