I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
