My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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