Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
