i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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