I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
