I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
