I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
