Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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