Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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