Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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