Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
