did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
All I want is dick and wine.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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