Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i think im in europe. pls send help
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
