My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
