The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
