I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
